The key to entertaining is to plan ahead. I have organized wine affairs for almost twenty years—intimate dinners for six, winemaker dinners for fifty, and open house hors d’oeuvres for hundreds. I also love impromptu dinners with family and friends, so I’ve refined my entertaining preparations to the following ten steps, and the most important is number ten—have fun.
1. Do a walkthrough
The first step in pulling off a well-organized affaire, whether it’s a simple dinner with friends or an elaborate wedding, is to do an imaginary walkthrough. Imagine you are the guest. Tick off on your fingers everything you would or would not enjoy as a guest, and plan every detail with your guests’ comfort in mind, from the moment they enter the front door to bidding them good night.
If it’s a mingling affair, set up comfortable centers of interest, and place appetizers in separate areas.
2. Sit in the comfort zone
Once your guests have arrived, will they be comfortable? Warmth, attention, and comfort are guaranteed to make a good impression, whether your event is casual or elegant. If you're seating your guests at a table, actually sit at the table yourself. Wiggle your elbows. Will you have room to sit down or get up without climbing over your neighbor? Will you be able to eat without bumping elbows? Can you talk to other guests without having to dodge tall candles and flower arrangements?
3. Create special touches—quickly and easily
Indulge in a flower arrangement, candles, or pull out some old linens. Look around your own backyard or turn to your local market for inexpensive decorations.
One of my favorite centerpieces is a simple arrangement of 3" clay pots holding variegated ivy, with 2" high candles sprinkled throughout the vines, interspersed with Bosc pears, variegated apples, and walnuts from our orchard.
A few swipes of gold leaf paint across the belly of a Bosc pear transforms it from market produce to art. For a harvest theme, you can swipe gold leaf on apples, Bosc pears, or walnuts; for Christmas mantels, use pomegranates and pine cones.
If you have a garden, put potted herbs in clay pots at each table setting, with the guest’s name written on it in metallic ink. At the end of dinner, pass around the metallic pens and let everyone add their signatures, so your guests can take home a living souvenir of the evening.
Herbs are a beautiful and fragrant way to decorate. Tie napkins with raffia and sprigs of bay and thyme, or surround candles with small sprigs of herbs for a centerpiece, or place tiny sprigs of herbs in ice water or next to teacups.
4. Set up early
Give yourself lots of time—plan your party and menu at least a week ahead of time. Buy non-perishable groceries and supplies early in the week. That leaves you with just a quick dash to the store for perishables on the day of the party.
Clean house well ahead of time, so you’re not tired, sweaty, and frantic the day of the party.
If you plan to assemble some last minute appetizers or serve hot foods like fondue, have all the chopping and grating done ahead of time, and the ingredients gathered in attractive small bowls.
Always set your personal deadline two hours in advance of your guests’ arrival. There will always be a few things overlooked until the last minute, and having the extra margin gives you lots of time for some relaxed creativity and last minute fussing. You can pick some extra herbs and flowers for garnish, turn on the flowerbed sprinklers to provide a cooling spritz on a hot day, or just sit and relax with a tinkling, iced beverage.
5. Be ready for chaos
Throwing a party is like writing a novel. The characters take over and nothing turns out like you thought it would. Don’t have too many preconceived notions about how the evening will go—relax and let your guests entertain themselves and each other.
Have a ready supply of attractive, clean dishtowels. When guests need a dishtowel—to clean up a spill, cover a dish, for an impromptu apron—you don’t want to hand them a rag that looks as though you cleaned your barbecue with it.
Guests often want to help in the kitchen, and while it’s fun to have everyone chopping, marinating, and peeling garlic, the kitchen table and counters quickly become covered with sticky debris, garlic peels, and vegetable ends. Another good use for new dishtowels—put one under each cutting board, and have your guests scrape their leavings onto the towel. When they’re done, just pick up the towel and shake the leavings into a garbage can or compost recycling bag, leaving the kitchen clean and ready for the next project.
For a potluck event, set out a selection of extra serving platters, bowls, ladles and spoons. You’ll be glad to have them handy in one place when everyone starts arriving at once.
6. Get ‘go-fers’
Delegating before and during the party makes the event more fun. Kids and teenagers will often agree to help with a cleaning chore in exchange for "helping" with a cooking project. Youngsters love to help with party planning—it makes them feel adult and gives them confidence and pride when guests arrive.
Visiting relatives will often ask if they can bring something. Sometimes the secret message is that your relatives want to feel they’re part of the event, and not just a guest. Think about what your relatives "specialize" in and ask them to bring something that gives them pride—like Grandma’s fabulous shrimp dip, or a bottle of fine wine from Papa’s cellar.
When the party begins, some people will feel nervous and awkward. By welcoming them into your kitchen and giving them some simple prep chores, you’ll help them feel like they’re part of the action, and give them a way to break the ice with other guests.
7. Breathe and smile
Whether you’re a guy or gal, it’s important to remember that this is your party. Give yourself a minimum of one half hour, uninterrupted, in which to do nothing but attend to your own personal grooming and sanity. Your smile and personality will set the tone for the evening. Be relaxed, prepared, and ready to have fun.
8. Greet everyone
Make eye contact with everyone as they walk in the door. Even if you’re busy with something else, or talking to someone, at least give arriving guests a welcoming smile. Pay attention to your guests. Listen to them, look at their faces, and touch them.
Never interrupt or ignore your guests. Don't dash off, gasping and distracted, while your guests are greeting you and taking off their coats. If you’re prepared, you can attend to last minute details and make your guests feel special at the same time. Never act as though details are more important to you than the people you’ve invited!
9. Work in circles
Circulate and make sure no one is feeling left out or ignored. A good technique is to walk in clockwise circles around the room or house. Don’t hurry—stop to visit with each guest and pick up platters that need refreshing, or sweep up a few crumbs. Make sure everyone has a beverage and feels comfortable. Be relaxed and warm, enjoy yourself and stop to chat whenever you feel like it—your guests can’t relax if you’re whizzing through the room like a summer tornado, snatching up plates of half-eaten food.
10. Relax and have fun
Your warmth and smile will set the tone for the whole evening If entertaining makes you nervous, then rely on the help of family, friends, or a good caterer. Let yourself enjoy your guests—it’s the best gift you can give them, and yourself.
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